The Start
Or end?
Although we are sitting at the starting line of the new year, I have to admit that the confinements of emotional injury has obstructed my ability to fully comprehend the last five years. The trajectory of my life is different now, and will continue to be for as long as I grow. But there was a sweet spot in the year of 2019, where life seemed to be full of bliss. Now, I am aware of the destruction that followed, but I need to pay my dues and hold space to remember.
Life in 2019 was so drastically different
Teleported to another dimension
When I reminisce, I wonder
What was she looking forward to?
Was she aware of what her future held?
Clothed in stability, harmony, and love. I only glance back in digestible amounts. I fear that I have discarded her in 2019, left amongst the minute grains and wavering waters. I know that she was ecstatic by that scenery, but I can no longer commit to a narrative that was stolen from me. Abandoned, and deprived of ripe fruit, I cannot discern the figure that connects me to her.
How time falls away with rapid speed
What I have lost cannot be retrieved
I hope she can still forgive me, for abandoning her along the shore. I hope her heart does not yearn for something more. I desire to be forgotten, in the same way that I yearn to forget her.
It all comes to an end, someday.
And this is goodbye.